Armie Hammer
I Tried Hooking Up With a Guy …
But My Hammer Was Flaccid
Published
The Armie HammerTime Podcast
Armie Hammer says he wanted to try the Grindr lifestyle, so he decided to hook up with a dude … but when he couldn’t get an erection, he bailed on his gay experiment.
The “Social Network” actor was discussing bisexuality on his ‘Armie HammerTime Podcast,’ when he recalled the time he tried hooking up with a French hunk … only for him to run into one huge problem facing lots of guys — a limp noodle.
Armie says he had decided to try something new after coming to the conclusion that “women are the worst” and “gay dudes seem to have it so easy.”
He says Grindr makes it super easy to get blowjobs in restaurants and he wanted a taste … so he found a handsome French man and tried to live out the gay dating-app fantasy.
What awaited Armie wasn’t a raunchy hookup story … but a rude awakening.
Armie says he had trouble with the guy’s beard, shoulders and height … and nothing so much as twitched below the belt.
As Armie tells it, things were getting hotter and heavier until reality set in … he says the Frenchman reached for his hammer but he stopped the guy in his tracks — “You’re not gonna touch my flaccid penis.”
Armie says the Frenchman tried to continue, but he’d had enough of going through the motions and put his foot down … and that was the end of his bi-curiosity.
Guess you don’t know until you’ve tried it, right Armie?!?
Armie’s not too embarrassed about not getting a rock-hard hammer either … he says the whole hookup was hilarious.